Category: AU, First Time
Disclaimer: Not mine, also no money was made from this, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Notes: I had the idea for this story one night coming from work. I was changing radio stations and heard the end of Whitney Houston's song "I will always love you". All of a sudden I *had* to hear the song. So I got home, put the cd in the stereo and ended up listening to the whole thing. The lyrics to one of the songs "I Have Nothing" caught my attention because it screamed Jim and Blair to me.
From that thought to the one that Jim and Kevin Costner's character
were so much alike they could be twins, was just a step away and I decided
to do a version of the movie. (More like a rip off!) Anyway, my muse went
crazy during the creative process and I changed directions a lot,
including regarding the ending which is completly different. Thanks to my
betas Helen, Monica, Myrna and Sherri for the excellent work, I'll be
forever grateful. :-D
Summary: A singer is in danger and needs a bodyguard.
It was always the same. A different town, a different face, a different
reason, but always the same. It was what a bodyguard did, travelling
around, guarding strangers that someone wanted dead.
Jim Ellison was seated comfortably in the backyard of his house, soft
music coming from the radio and a cold drink in his hand, thinking that
this man in front of him, Simon Banks, asking for his help, was just like
all the others and he was tired of it.
"So this is it? You'll refuse a job that will give you two thousand a
week just like that? You'll refuse to protect Blair Sandburg just because
he's a celebrity?"
"That's right. I don't work with artists, too much risk and hassle.
Look, there's plenty of other good bodyguards able to do the job."
"We don't want anybody else. I heard you're the best and only the best
will do in this case. I wouldn't be here if this wasn't for real, man.
We're talking about an extremely famous celebrity, I'll give you that.
But, please... I'm begging here. Blair is like my kid, my own son and I'm
scared to death something might happen to him. You have to help us!"
Jim thought about his own relationship with his father, a cold,
uncaring man, and how this man seemed desperate to protect someone that
wasn't even his real son. "Okay," he sighed warily. "I'll take a look at
the situation and then decide if I'll take the job or not. If I take it,
it will be four thousand a week."
Banks whistled. "For that price, you better be able to see and hear
things no one else does!"
There was a strange look on Ellison's face. "You'd be surprised," he
The next day dawned grey and cold. Jim drove to Sandburg's house, a
gigantic mansion, especially if compared with the scattered few around,
which were much more modest. As he stopped in front of the gate, he
thought he saw a van not too far away, but when he took a better look it
was gone. Turning his attention back to the house, he noticed the gate was
only half closed and getting out of the car he opened it completely. He
drove the car in and closed it again, carefully glancing around.
Jim drove to the main building, thinking the house was even bigger than
it looked from the gate, with a swimming pool, a tennis court, fountains
everywhere and even a garden. Finally parking near the front door, he
spotted a guy cleaning a limousine and walked up to him, noticing a
bandage on his left hand.
"Can I help you?" said the man.
"I have an appointment with Mr. Sandburg."
The man smirked at him. "Yeah, right! You and half the world. Arranged
by whom and how did you get by the front gate?"
"The appointment was arranged by Mr. Banks and believe it or not, the
gate was open."
"Shit! I keep telling Taggart to watch out for the gate, but nobody
ever listens to me. So, you're the new bodyguard, right? Simon told me to
"What happened to your hand, Mr...?"
"Brown, Henri Brown, I'm the chauffeur. A bomb. Someone wired the other
limo Mr. Sandburg owned. Thank God, the person didn't seem to know exactly
how to do it and it didn't do much damage. It only blew the motor, but I
was driving it at the time and lost control. Shit happens, you know?"
Jim nodded and walked to the door ringing the bell. A woman let him in
immediately without any trouble and he found himself caught in the
cacophony of sound and light of a dance rehearsal. Turning the dials on
his senses down to be able to stand it, he walked around for awhile
watching the exotic and sensual moves of the dancers until Banks saw him
and waved him over.
Looking around once more, Jim took note of the dozens of people walking
around without being noticed, the dancers, the makeup team, the wardrobe
woman, the man seated in a sofa talking on a cell phone... The place was a
murderer's dream come true. As he reached Banks; a big, strong man started
to walk up to him, but Banks shook his head and he sat back down. As the
music stopped, Simon smiled at him.
"Thanks for coming. I'll introduce you to Blair, wait a second."
Walking to a big chair where the artist was seated with his back to
Jim, Banks said, "Mr. Ellison is here."
"Who?" asked a soft, melodic voice.
"Ellison, the bodyguard."
"Taggart is my bodyguard, Simon."
"He's the new one, I told you about him, remember? Please, come meet
Sighing, the man got up and walked up to Jim, looking him over as Banks
made the introductions. "Blair Sandburg, Jim Ellison."
"You don't look much like a bodyguard! I had this picture of a Hulk
Hogan look-a-like, all muscles and height, or at least someone like
Taggart," he said, pointing to the man that had walked over to Jim moments
Jim looked into the bluest eyes he had ever seen, the face of an angel,
with kissable lips, long curly silky hair, and small but strong, lean body
and smiled. "I always thought you didn't look much like a singer either.
You look more like a model or a movie star."
Blair blinked for a second and then started to laugh. "Good
A young woman walked over to them and once again Banks did the honors.
"Jim Ellison, this is Megan Sandburg, Blair's sister and private
secretary. The man on the cell phone is Ryf Van Rij, Blair's agent, and
the man ready to take you on not long ago is the person responsible for
security around here, Joel Taggart."
Blair looked at Jim. "Mr. Ellison..."
"Jim. I have to say this is all Simon's idea, he's been a bit obsessed
lately with my protection."
Jim turned steely blue eyes on Simon, and the man had the grace to look
embarrassed. "Anyway, Joel takes very good care of me, I think this is
Megan shook her head. "Bro, come on, please. This time might be
different, this could be for real."
Ryf walked up to them. "Come on, Megs! If celebrities hired a new
bodyguard each time they got a threatening letter, the world would be full
of bodyguards! It happens everytime Blair gets a new CD out, for Christ's
"Not like this," said Simon.
"Look, I'll go along with this, just as long as it doesn't affect my
life," the singer said, turning soul deep blue eyes up at Ellison, making
him giddy. "You can order any alarm system you want, better security for
the gate, whatever. Is that okay?"
Jim took a deep breath, centering himself. This was a bad idea from the
start, and he knew it. It had been a long time since any man had caused an
effect on him, but it only took a minute for this singer to make his head
turn and his heart beat faster. He couldn't do this, not again.
"I don't think you understand what it is exactly a bodyguard does. I'm
sorry, this isn't going to work. Good morning, gentlemen," he said and
started to move to the exit.
Simon went after him. "Ellison, wait! Look, he is a bit headstrong, but
he has a good heart. Please, before you make a final decision, let me show
It was on Jim's mouth to say no, he wasn't going to put up with pushy
young celebrities, no matter how gorgeous they were, and that he had
personal reasons for not wanting to do this job, when he saw the look on
Simon's face. He was scared and not for himself.
"Damn... I must be getting soft!" he muttered. "What is it?"
"I'll be right back." Banks took off and returned a few minutes later
with some papers in his hands. "Take a look at these. Those are some of
the letters Blair has been getting."
Jim picked them up and ran his eyes over them. All of them were
drawings of Blair, naked, covered in blood, presumably dead. They were
grotesque pictures with hate messages scrawled across them.
Ryf joined them in the garden. "Got one more in today's mail." He gave
a new letter to Jim.
"'You will die at my hands, you slut. Your day is coming'." Jim nodded.
"Nice. Have you told Mr. Sandburg about these letters? And about the bomb
on the limo?"
"No. The only thing we told him was there had been some kind of short
circuit on the limo's motor. He can't worry about these things," Ryf
Simon cleared his throat. "Ryf, we should show him the room."
"Yeah. Come with us."
Blair's room was huge, bright, and amazingly simple for someone
supposed to be so famous and glamorous. White walls with a few paintings
of exotic landscapes hanging over them, a beautiful chandelier and a big
brass bed caught Jim's eye as soon as he walked in. All in all, the room
gave out a soothing and comfortable atmosphere.
"So this is his room? Not quite what I thought it would be. So, why did
you bring me here?"
"Last week, while he was in California doing a series of radio shows,
someone broke in and masturbated on the bed. We didn't tell him, but it
was the final straw and what made me look for you."
Jim shook his head. "Simon, this is serious. When we first talked I
thought this was just a rich, spoiled brat having a hissy fit of some
kind, but I'm changing my mind fast here. Those letters, plus the bomb and
now this... Look, he is a sitting target here. I'm not even going to
mention the fact that someone got in the house and managed to sneak in
this room when no one was in the house, but I did the same just a little
over an hour ago and this place was full to capacity. I just walked in
through the front gate, passed the chauffeur, the front door, went through
half of the house and stopped just a few feet away from Blair. The only
person that really got in my face was Taggart and I don't think he could
have stopped me. If I was the killer he'd be dead right now. And with all
the people around here anyone can blend in."
"Okay. What do you need?"
"For the moment a room, and the closer to his the better. I'm staying
here, no way I can protect him and keep an eye on him with his schedule
otherwise. And Simon... while I go get my stuff, tell him what's going on.
I won't do this with him ignorant of the risk."
"We'll do it as soon as you leave." Ryf said.
"I'll be back in a few hours then."
Jim nodded his goodbye to the two men and left the mansion. Going to
his car, he drove away, and the unwanted thought that he was in hot water
came to his mind and not for the first time in the last few hours.
Blair looked at Simon and Ryf feeling his heart start to beat faster.
"What's going on, guys? This isn't just about a few nasty letters, is it?
Simon took a deep breath. "The letters... they're... sick. Definitely
not your usual rubbish. Here son, read them for yourself." He gave the
letters to the young man.
Blair started pacing, running his eyes through those awful words, those
awful drawings and suddenly felt ill. "Oh God!" He looked up, pale.
"There's more, isn't it?"
Ryf watched him with a grim expression and nodded. "Last week, while
you were in California, someone broke in and... Well, I..."
"Uh, the guy masturbated on your bed." Simon finished softly.
If possible, Blair got paler. "What?!" he whispered. "Oh God!"
Two hours later saw Jim back at the mansion putting his stuff in the
room connecting with Blair's while watching the news on TV. A knock on the
door brought his attention back from the screen.
Blair walked in. "Uh, hi."
They stood looking at each other awkwardly for a moment until the
singer broke the silence. "I... I came to say I'm sorry."
"For my behaviour with you before. It's just...."
"Well, sometimes people try to get close because I'm supposed to be
this big star and all they want is to share the limelight. It's tough when
you find out that someone doesn't like you for yourself, but for who you
are. I got burned before, so to speak, so I guess I got used to putting up
a few walls to keep everyone out."
Jim nodded, it was something he was familiar with, the shielding of his
heart. He'd done it himself after Paul's death. Just the name brought back
all the unwanted memories. The first time he had seen him he had been
hired to protect him from a psychopath with a grudge against the man
responsible for putting him in jail, the love that grew between them, the
way Paul helped him control his senses, and finally Paul's death saving
him from a stray bullet in a robbery years later when they were in the
wrong place at the wrong time.
A soft touch on his arm brought him back to the present and he found
himself drowning in the blue pools of Blair's eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, sorry. Just lost myself there for a moment."
There was a slight smile on the younger man's lips. "Am I that
Against his will, Jim laughed. "No! Go on with the apology, you were
Blair rolled his eyes. "Well, thank you!" He sobered up again. "Anyway,
I had no idea about what was going on until Simon and Ryf told me. I can't
promise that I'll be easy to guard, but I promise I'll do my best to
"Okay, I guess that's better than nothing."
The singer lowered his eyes to the floor. "I'm scared." he breathed,
sure that the tall, gorgeous man in front of him couldn't possibly hear
But then he felt himself caught in a warm hug and a voice whispered in
his ear, making him shiver. "Don't be, I'll keep you safe. I won't let
anything happen to you."
"What, you'll be like my Blessed Protector or something?" Blair joked,
"Blessed Protector... I like that, yeah, I like that a lot."
The young man sighed and allowed himself to lean into the embrace. He
soaked up the warmth and strength this man was giving him and felt safe
and cherished for the first time in a long time.
Not half an hour after Blair left his room, Jim heard another knock on
his door. It was Henri, the chauffeur. "You sent for me?"
"Yep. You're my new assistant."
"Because I need help and I decided you're it. Any questions?"
"Well... what do I have to do?"
During the next few exhausting days Henri got his answer. Together,
they took charge of all the changes to take place for Blair's security.
The gate was changed, new surveillance cameras were brought in, the big
trees in the garden were cut to get a better view, new lights were added,
and Henri took special classes on how to drive under pressure. And at
night, Jim tried not to think of a beautiful angelic face with big blue
eyes and full lips, but as usual it was always his last vision as he fell
The next two weeks passed in a blur. Blair's new album was a success
and everyone wanted to talk to him and interview him, so the days were
spent going from radio station to radio station or TV station to TV
station. Little by little, Jim and Blair started to relax around each
other and get along, and the bodyguard realised that there was more to
Blair Sandburg that met the eye.
"Tired?" Jim asked, after a particularly long day.
Blair grinned. "Exhausted. Can't wait to get home and take a nice,
long, hot shower."
Trying to get over the picture his mind made up of the young man, naked
in the shower, Jim asked: "Is it worth it? All this stress, I mean?"
The singer smiled. "Yeah. I love singing, you know? To me it's like
breathing, I can't do without it. And exhausting as it is, I also like the
interviews and the photo sessions or the autograph sessions or whatever.
It isn't always easy, but I like people, I like connecting with them.
Everyone is different and everyone is special in their own way and in this
line of work I get to meet a lot of interesting characters."
"I bet. How did you start out?"
"As a joke in college, actually. Megan and I used to sing for our
friends. One day there was this talent show, and we decided to take a
chance and go for it. We won, of course. A guy from a record company was
there and came up to me, said he wanted to sign me up. I wasn't too sure
at first, you know? He only wanted to sign me, not Megs, and I always sang
with her before, and she was my sister, but she told me to take the
chance, and I did. She became my secretary and Ryf, one of my best
friends, became my agent taking care of the shows and all that stuff I
can't keep up with."
"And the others, Taggart? Simon?"
"Well, our parents died in a car accident when I was very young. Simon
was my father's best friend, so he and Megs took care of me. Simon's like
a father to me which made him the obvious choice to stick around and look
after us. As for Taggart... Well, he used to be my boss."
Blair grinned. "Yeah. I had to work through college, so I started
working in this gym as a gopher and stuff. Taggart owned the gym, as you
probably guessed by now. When things started to get big, I asked if he
wanted to work for me. He said yes and the rest, as they say, is history.
And you? How did you end up a bodyguard?"
"Went to the army to get away from my family, my father actually,
stayed a few years, then got bored and decided to get out. I have this
problem with authority so I set my eye on going to work on my own. Since I
had all this military training..."
"You decided to be a bodyguard."
"I decided to be a bodyguard."
Brown parked the limo and they all got out. Sharing a last smile with
Jim, Blair walked out with Megan and Ryf. Jim started to move when a hand
against his chest forced him to lean on the limo and he looked at
Taggart's feral look.
"Just a warning, Ellison. Don't mess with that kid, you hear? I love
the guy and if you hurt him, I'll kill you!"
"I'm here to protect him, not hurt him. Maybe you should save all that
bravado for the guy stalking him."
Then, freeing himself, he went inside the mansion, leaving Taggart
The next day brought good news, Blair's album was being nominated for a
few awards at the MTV music awards due the following month. Jim was the
only one in the room when the phone call came, and he suddenly found
himself with an armful of an excited, and giggling singer.
"Wow! Oh wow!"
Blair looked up at him. "Jim, this is my life's dream coming true! I
can't believe it!"
"Blair, I hate to be the party pooper here, but I don't think you
should go. I mean, the guy that is after you..."
He stopped seeing the young man shaking his head. "I'm going no matter
what. If I chicken out, he'll have won. Please, help me go. I'll do
anything you want, I promise."
Blair looked at him with such a pleading look that Jim couldn't resist.
"Okay, but you *will* do what I tell you, do you hear me?"
"Yeah, yeah! God, I'm so happy! Man, I need a new outfit for the award
show! I suppose you won't let me go shopping?"
"You suppose right."
"Thought so. Where's Megs?"
"In the kitchen."
Blair found his sister, told her the news and grinned. "I need a favor,
sis. Mother hen here won't let me go shopping, so I need you to go to
Karen's store. She knows what I like and won't mind you bringing a few
Megan sighed. "Alright, I'm going. God, you're a handful, you know
The singer laughed. "Yeah, but you love me anyway." Seriously, he
added, "Thanks, Megan."
"Hey, that's what big sisters are for. I'll be back as soon as
An hour later, Jim was sitting in Blair's room waiting, while the
younger man got dressed in the bathroom. After five minutes of hearing
'Nope... Not this one... Uh, no... No way... Icks... No... Maybe', Jim
finally heard a big 'Yes!' and Blair opened the door.
"What do you think?" he asked.
He had on a pair of extremely tight black leather pants that hugged his
body and left nothing to the imagination and a shirt of a blue shade that
made his eyes shine brighter, loose around his torso, with the first
buttons open showing just a bit of the hairy chest. The final result was
Jim tried to speak, couldn't find his voice and cleared his throat,
giving it another try. "It looks great. You'll drive all the women
Must have been the right thing to say, because Blair gave him an ear to
ear grin and went to change back into his old clothes.
For some reason, sleep was eluding him that night. Jim tossed and
turned, laid on his back, on his stomach, counted sheep, and still
nothing. Giving up, he decided to go to the kitchen and grab something to
eat. Getting there he saw the light on and Megan seated on the table
eating a sandwich.
"Hey, Jim. Couldn't sleep?"
"Nope. And you?
"Same thing. I'm worried about my brother. You think that you can
"I'll do anything in my power, Megan, I promise."
She smiled. "I know you will." She kept looking him in the eye for such
a long time, he started to feel uncomfortable.
"You like him, don't you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. I see the way you look at him when you think no
one is watching."
"It's okay. I only want him to be happy, and I think he might get that
with you. He may be a big star, but fame is a lonely place to be. And... I
think he likes you too."
"I won't do anything until this stalker thing is finished. Can't lose
"Fair enough. But after that... Make my brother happy, Jim and you'll
have a friend for life in me." She got up. "Goodnight."
Megan stopped at the door. "Oh, Jim...? Don't wait too long, you might
lose to the competition."
"Ryf. He's been chasing Blair for years now, and he is breaking down
the walls. Loneliness makes you weak, and my brother is just ripe for the
After finishing a beer and a light sandwich, Jim decided to try and
sleep again. Maybe now that he had satisfied his hunger, it would be
easier. Leaving the kitchen, he was on his way up when he heard someone in
the garden. Taking his gun from the holster, he walked cautiously
Blair was in the garden, leaning on a tree and looking at the starry
sky. It was a full moon, and its light shone right on him, and for a
moment, Jim just stood still enjoying the breathtaking vision before him.
"You shouldn't be here alone," he said finally, getting closer.
The younger man smiled, but didn't move. "Couldn't sleep. What are you
"Couldn't sleep either. What's wrong, Blair?"
The singer took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Don't know,
exactly. I guess this stalker thing is getting on my nerves after all. I
just can't imagine why anyone would want to kill me, I've never done
anything bad to anyone."
"From the letters I read this is the work of a nut, doesn't seem to be
a reason for his hate, and logic has nothing to do with it, he just has a
weird fixation on you. I can't see any other reason why anyone would want
to kill someone as beautiful as you."
Blair looked startled. "You find me beautiful?"
Jim was so close their breath mingled as they looked in each other's
eyes. "Yes," he whispered, going against the voice in his head telling him
this was wrong and unprofessional, telling him to turn around so he
wouldn't get hurt again. He lowered his head and touched his lips to
The kiss was chaste, hesitant, until the younger man's surprise faded,
and he started to answer back passionately. Their arms came around each
other, caressing each other, making the kiss deeper, more needy, drowning
both man in a whirlwind of emotion.
Jim broke the embrace suddenly, panting, finally listening to his inner
voice. "I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry... I can't do this... I'm so sorry..."
And he disappeared, leaving the young man looking up at the sky again
and wondering if anyone was ever going to love him.
The next night found Jim and Henri waiting by the limo for Blair. The
young man had said he wanted to go out to a club and nothing and no one
could change his mind, so there they were. The front door opened and
Taggart, Ryf, Megan and Simon got out.
"Where is he?"
"On his way," said Megan. "Don't know what the hell is wrong with him
today, never seen him so mad at everything and everyone!"
The door opened again and Blair walked out. Jim couldn't help holding
his breath at the sight of the tight black jeans and the even tighter
t-shirt that said "Blow me and just leave".
Simon almost shouted. "You're going like that?"
"And why not?" asked the singer with a defiant look. "I think I'm old
enough to decide what to wear, don't you?"
As he walked towards the limo, Jim tried, "Blair..."
"Shut up!" the singer hissed. "You had your chance last night and lost
it. You're paid to do a job, so do it and keep your thoughts to
They all got in the limo, and Henri drove it out to the club. On the
way there, Blair didn't say a word, he just stared out the window lost in
his thoughts. He knew the way he was acting wasn't very fair to the
others, but he couldn't help it. He had known since he was very young he
was bi, but had only taken one male lover in all his life and even then
hadn't opened his heart completely, afraid of giving too much, afraid of
losing too much and so after that affair ended, and in a bad way, he just
dated women. Then the fame came, and
there was less and less dating, he started to cut off from the world and
felt that maybe being lonely was going to be a part of his life forever.
And then that infuriating, strong, silent, gorgeous Jim Ellison showed
up and turned his life upside down, and in the weeks they had been
spending together, little by little, his defences started to crumble, his
walls going down, and he opened up again, took a chance. He thought he saw
the same thing happening to the other man, that he too was breaking
through his defences, that what he was feeling was mutual, but last
night... last night he had been proven wrong and so, with his heart
breaking and bleeding, he started to build new walls around his heart,
stronger walls, so no one could get in again, because he knew he couldn't
survive another attack.
He was brought back from his introspection as Henri parked the limo at
the back entrance of the club. "We're here."
"Good," he said curtly and got out followed by the others.
They had no problem getting in as the owner of the club recognized
"Oh wow! Blair Sandburg in my club! Damn, what an honor! I know you
came here to have fun, not work, but can you do a song or two for us,
Jim shook his head. "No way. We don't have enough security for it."
Blair looked at him and leered. "I make the decisions around here,
bodyguard," and turning to the club's owner, he smiled." Actually, I'm
feeling like singing tonight. Where's the stage?"
The man nearly jumped up and down in excitement. "This way, follow me.
It's not too big, but it will do. The club is packed, you'll be a success.
Oh, by the way, the house band can play any song from your CD's, so feel
free to sing whatever you want."
"Great, thanks. I might do just that. Simon, do me a favour and
introduce me, okay? I want to do a rockin' entrance."
Banks looked at him with a worried expression. "You sure about
"Yeah. Go on, my audience awaits!"
The show had been going on for more than half an hour now. Blair was
singing all his greatest hits, and the audience was wild. A sensual song
began and Blair started to dance, swaying his hips and dropping to his
knees, and the crowd roared, wanting more. With a feral look and a sexy
smile, he started to walk slowly towards the audience on his hands and
knees, seducing them, like a panther stalking his prey. The air was heavy
with sexual electricity, and it was making Jim dizzy.
"Oh God," he moaned, seeing Blair crawl on stage, ass in the air,
tongue wetting his pouty lips.
"He's the stuff dreams are made of," whispered Ryf beside him.
The song finally ended and a new one started, this time a love song,
and Jim found himself paying attention to the lyrics.
Share my life
Blair turned around and their eyes met at that moment. At the look in
the young man's eyes, Jim felt his heart start to beat faster, his
breathing became shallow and sweat poured out of his body as if he'd been
running for miles.
I don't really need to look
"Is that what I'm doing?" Jim whispered, and Blair nodded as if
understanding the question. Maybe he had, Jim mused.
You see through
Jim felt a shiver down his spine. The song seemed to have been written
with him in mind, that was exactly what he felt, how he felt. Since he had
met Blair, he could feel the younger man break through his defences and he
felt himself getting weaker each passing day, and last night... last
I don't really need to look
Not even Paul had made him feel like this, emotions so strong that
rocked his world. Could Megan be right? Could they find happiness
together? A famous singer and a bodyguard? Two people as different as they
were? Could he take the chance?
Don't make me close one more door
Don't make me close one more door
More importantly, could he walk away now? Could he go back to having
nothing? Would he be content with just the memory of holding Blair? Of
Inside the music was rolling, and the screams of the crowd could be
heard. The silent shadow walked over to the limo parked outside the back
entrance of the club and looked around for a while. He opened the trunk
with a special tool and climbed inside with a leer.
"Tonight, my sweet Blair, you will be mine."
It was after three in the morning when they finally left the club.
Blair was exhausted, but felt better. One of the reasons why he loved to
sing was to get rid of the bottled up emotions that he couldn't manage to
express any other way. It was fun, he thrived on it, and it saved him the
trouble of getting a shrink, he thought to himself with a grin.
Finally at the mansion, everyone said their goodnights and went to
their rooms. Jim was silent, more than usual, but Blair didn't mention it.
Maybe the signals he sent during "I Have Nothing" had worked, maybe it got
him thinking about them. It was his last try and if Jim wasn't smart
enough to take him up on it, to hell with him.
Blair decided to take a shower and going to the bathroom in his room,
undressed slowly, feeling the adrenaline from the show finally going down.
He hadn't planned on it, all he had wanted was to hear some good live
music, maybe a cold drink, nothing more, but when Jim had told the owner
of the club he couldn't sing, all he could think about was how he wanted
to provoke him, to cross him, to hurt him as he got hurt last night. But
the show had been amazing, and he ended up having a great time and
although tired, he felt much better.
The hot water relaxed his muscles, and he felt sleep trying to overtake
him. Finishing quickly, he dried himself and donned a pair of shorts and a
t-shirt and dragged himself to bed, falling asleep almost immediately.
The shadow crawled out of the limo's trunk and made his way silently to
the house. The back door was open, Henri was outside smoking a cigarette
before going to sleep and the man took advantage of the fact. Hitting the
chauffeur on the head, he went inside unseen and climbed the stairs.
Reaching Blair's room silently, he tried the knob, and found it
Going inside, he moved closer to the bed and looked at the sleeping man
in it. In his sleep, the young man had uncovered his body and was on his
back with the sheets and the blanket on the floor. The man took a knife
out of his pocket, a rope and a piece of cloth and suddenly made his move.
Crawling on top of Blair, he stuffed the cloth in the young man's mouth.
He took advantage of the young man's confusion and pressed the knife to
"Not a sound Pretty One, or you'll need to look for a new job." Blair
stilled and looked up with frightened eyes at the huge man on top of him.
"That's better. Now, move your hands over your head. Slowly."
He obeyed, and the man tied him to the bed with the rope he'd brought.
"Now, ain't that cozy?! You and I are going to have a good time, Blair
baby, a really good time." he whispered in Blair's ear as he ran the knife
in a sensual caress down his throat. "God, you're so beautiful! When I saw
you at the club, I just knew I had to have you, can't wait to be in you,
to feel you writhing against me... I'll make you feel so good, baby, so
Blair shook his head in denial. This couldn't be happening, not in his
house, where he was supposed to be safe. Where was Jim? Oh, God, please...
He started to struggle as he felt the man's hands paw at him, but the
knife returned to his throat immediately.
"Shhh, shhh, baby, don't fight it, it's useless. And you know you want
it, don't you?"
The man lowered his head and was about to kiss the young man's ear when
a roar was heard throughout the house, and the man was thrown of the bed
by a very angry Jim. They struggled briefly on the floor, but the
bodyguard was bigger and seriously pissed, and the man was no match for
him. Jim secured him and took him out of the room, running into the others
in the corridor.
"What happened?" Simon asked.
"This jerk tried to assault Blair. Call the police and hand him over,
I'll take care of Blair."
Taggart grabbed the guy angrily. "You son of a bitch! I should break
you into little pieces! Let's go!"
He and Simon took the unresisting man down the stairs and went to call
Ryf frowned. "But..."
Megan put a hand on his shoulder. "Jim will take care of him, Ryf. I
need you and Simon to help me with the police, and search for Henri, he
isn't here and that's too strange."
The agent took a deep breath. "Alright. Just make sure he's okay."
"I will. Goodnight."
After the others went to the living room to call the police, Jim got
back to Blair's room. He untied him and took the cloth out of his
"Sorry I left you there for so long, but I thought you didn't want the
others to see you like that."
Blair nodded gratefully, but couldn't speak. Suddenly a sob broke out
of him. "Oh God! I was so scared!"
Jim hugged him. "It's ok, I'm here now, nothing will happen to you. I'm
your Blessed Protector, remember?"
Blair chuckled through the tears and then asked, "You think... you
think he was the one?"
"No. His MO doesn't connect with the letters and all the rest, I'm
sorry. But we will get him, I promise. Come on, get back in bed, you need
He helped the younger man get back in bed and tucked him in, but as he
turned to go, Blair grabbed his wrist. "Please, don't go. Stay with
"Please? I don't want to be alone."
"Okay, I'll stay."
Jim stripped down to his shorts and laid on the bed, finding himself
immediately with the singer in his arms. Blair snuggled closer, put his
head in Jim chest, sighed and Jim felt him start to relax.
"Yeah, I think so. Thanks for saving me. I don't think I could have
handled what that man wanted to do."
"You're welcome. Now, go back to sleep. I'll be here all night watching
"How did you know the guy was here? "
"I heard his voice."
"But he wasn't loud at all. How could you hear him?"
"Well, I was just next door, remember?" he answered easily. "Now
Little by little the exhaustion took over, and Blair fell asleep. It
took a lot longer for the bodyguard to do the same, he felt content in
just holding in his arms the man who was becoming so important in his
The next morning when Jim walked in the kitchen to get a much needed
cup of coffee, he was greeted by Taggart.
"He'll be alright, still sleeping though."
"What happened last night?"
"We handed the guy over to the cops. They wanted Blair to give a
statement, but Simon managed to convince them to wait for this afternoon.
One of the cops recognised the bastard, though. Seems it's not the first
time he tried something like this. As for Henri, we found him in the
garden unconscious. Megan took him to the hospital, but it wasn't serious.
He's also sleeping it off. Listen, I want to apologise for the way I acted
the other day. It's just that I love Blair like a son, you know, and I was
worried. You saved him last night and I'll be forever grateful."
"It's ok, Taggart, I understand. Maybe now we can work together, what
do you say?"
"You got it."
The phone rang, and Taggart picked it up. He talked with the other
person for a while and when he came back was grinning from ear to ear. "It
was Sargeant Kiedis, one of the cops from last night. The guy confessed
everything and not only to Blair's assault last night. Seems he's been
busy! It will be enough to keep the guy locked up for a long time,
especially because he was on parole. And they agreed not to mention
Blair's name to the press!"
"Thank God for small favours! Now he can really put this all behind
"Put what behind who?" Blair asked, walking in and grabbing himself a
cup of coffee. They told him the news. "That IS good news! I need to
celebrate that one."
"How about we go out for dinner?" Jim asked.
Blair looked surprised. "You're serious?"
"Yeah. I think you could use a bit of fun and relaxation. We could go
to the movies and then grab something to eat afterwards. What do you
The younger man looked at him for a long time and then smiled. "Okay.
They both grinned at each other, having completely forgotten about
The movie was excellent and they spent the way to the restaurant
talking about it, discussing their opposite points of view, laughing,
creating an easy banter between them.
"We're here." Jim said.
Blair turned and snorted. "You call this a restaurant?! Wonderburger is
*not* a restaurant, man!"
"Hey, I like their burgers! Not all of us like to eat grass like you
do, you know?"
"Excuse me, I do *not* eat grass, I eat vegetables and at least it's
healthy. You have any idea what too much meat does to your body? We're
talking major stroke here!"
"I'll take my chances. Come on!"
They walked inside, gave their order and went to a distant table,
closed off from the curious eye. The conversation continued until both had
finished eating. They looked awkwardly at each other for a moment and then
Blair asked. "So, can I ask you something personal?"
"I guess." Jim nodded. "What is it?"
"Have you ever been in love?"
The answer took a while. "Yeah, a long time ago."
"He?" Blair repeated.
"Yeah, I'm bi. Does that bother you?"
"No, I'm bi too. How... how did he die?"
"We went to the bank one day, and it got robbed. There was a shoot out
between the thieves and the cops, and somehow I got caught in the
crossfire. Paul got in the way of a stray bullet meant for me. He died
Blair's eyes were moist. "God, I'm so sorry Jim."
"Like I said, it was a long time ago. What about you, ever been in
"I thought so, but I'm not so sure it was really love anymore. I met
this guy, Vince, when I was eighteen and after a few months of dating we
rented a house together. It was a big mistake, he joined the wrong crowd,
started to drink and gamble, and things became sour pretty fast between
"What happened?" Jim asked.
"I warned him time and time again to stop gambling, but he wouldn't
listen. He was always drunk in our last months together, disappearing for
days on end, somewhere gambling or betting both our paychecks. When I
confronted him he said gambling gave him a bigger high than anything else
and he couldn't live without it. I got enough of working my butt off and
watching him lose the money in five minutes, of having to give excuses to
the people he owed money to, of having the bookies on our backs and seeing
him screwing around with everything that moved, so I left. Never heard
from him again," Blair answered, looking Jim in the eye.
The conversation moved on and kept going until around eleven, when they
decided to go back to the mansion. When they got there Jim walked Blair to
his room. The young man walked in and looked at him.
"Come in? Just for a while?"
"Want a drink?" the singer asked, going to the small mini bar he had in
"Don't drink, but if you have water..."
"Sure, a glass of water coming up," he said, giving the glass to the
Blair turned the radio on and there was an old love song playing.
"Dance with me? I'll let you lead," he asked with a smile.
Jim got up and they walked into each other's arms. After a bumpy start,
they found their rhythm and began to sway together.
"Am I that much of a risk?" Blair asked suddenly.
"What do you mean?"
"I know you want me, you're attracted to me, that kiss in the garden
told me that, but you keep backing off. Is it because of who I am?"
"Not exactly, no."
"So what is it? Am I too young, ugly, short... What?"
"I don't want to get hurt."
"So you're saying I'm going to hurt you?"
"Maybe not intentionally, but it can happen."
"Geez, man! A nuclear bomb can also happen, and we will all be dead
tomorrow! Take a chance on life, take a chance on me."
"Because I think I love you."
Their eyes met for a second, and then they kissed. The kiss was
everything the first one had been and more, there were no walls this time,
no barriers, no holding back.
"You know, " Blair whispered. "I've never felt so safe before. You make
me feel safe, wanted. Loved. Do you love me James Ellison?"
"Yes," came the also whispered answer, as the mouth that breathed it
left a trail of light kisses down the younger man's throat, to his earlobe
where it stopped to nibble and lick it, going back to the collarbone and
then to the pouty lips for another passionate kiss.
Blair burrowed under Jim's jacket, shoving it from his shoulders to the
floor, tugging his shirt from the waistband of his pants, opening each
button slowly, kissing the revealed skin. Finally dropping it to join the
jacket, he ran his hands over the strong muscles and the hairless chest,
sighing in delight.
Jim returned the favour by taking Blair's jacket and dropping it to
join his clothes and then raising the younger man's t-shirt from his
torso, kissing and licking the expanse of the hairy chest. The singer
lifted his arms to help get rid of the garment, and they found themselves
on the bed, naked from the waist up, skin to skin.
Blair pushed Jim on his back and started to go down on him, kissing
every bit of flesh he could reach, stopping to pay special attention to
the nipples. He nibbled one, giving it a gentle bite, while he rubbed the
other with his thumb, smiling to himself at hearing Jim's moans. Reaching
the older man's pants, he unbuttoned them and opened the zipper, getting
rid of the pants and boxers at the same time. He took his time watching
the Greek God standing in his bed and then decided to take action again.
He started the kissing, nipping, licking thing again, this time beginning
with Jim's feet, laving each toe tenderly, nibbling the strong calves and
thighs, grinning when he came 'face to face' with his goal.
Just as he was about to take Jim's cock in his mouth, the older man
pounced and reversed their positions, pinning the singer to the bed. Going
for his pants, he opened the button really slow, too slow, getting a moan
of protest from Blair, and chuckling he reached for the zipper with his
teeth and brought it down, getting a moan this time that had nothing to do
with protest and everything with pure lust.
After dropping Blair's jeans and boxers to the floor, the bigger man
covered the singer's body with his own and sought the full lips again for
a soul shattering kiss. "Top or bottom?" he asked.
"Are you a top or bottom, Blair?"
"Good!" Jim growled. "Lube?"
"Nightstand, top drawer."
Reaching for it, Jim forced Blair's legs apart and knelt between them
for a moment grinning at the younger man. Then coating his fingers with
the lube he started to stretch himself, dragging a moan from Blair.
"Oh. My. God! Jim!"
Finished stretching, and panting hard, the bodyguard straddled the
younger man, positioning himself for penetration. Taking Blair's cock in
his hand he guided it to his opening and started to impale himself,
sighing when he took the singer's cock all the way into him.
Blair raised his hands to caress Jim's body, but the older man grabbed
them and laced their fingers together, pinning his hands to the bed above
"I want to touch you," moaned Blair.
"No. Let me give you this."
He began to rock, thrusting against the cock inside his body, faster
and faster, bringing them closer to the end. Finally, together they came,
shouting each other's names. Jim fell on top of the younger man and Blair
took the weight willingly, smiling. Maybe someone did love him after
It was just starting to dawn when Blair woke up, feeling like he was on
cloud nine. Opening his eyes, he saw Jim getting dressed. "Where are you
"To my room."
The younger man frowned. "Why? What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?
If I did, I'm sorry! Please talk to me."
"You didn't do anything wrong, I did. I should have never taken this
job. I knew it the moment I saw you, that I felt the attraction. I have to
keep in mind that I'm here to protect you. If I don't, I won't be able to
do my job, to keep you safe."
"And why the hell didn't you think about that last night? Now that you
got me in bed, now that you got what you wanted, you're Mr. Professional
again, is that it?"
"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean --"
"Get out of here! Get out!"
"Okay, okay! I'm going!"
Jim left the room practically running and feeling like shit. He knew he
loved Blair and last night had been the best of his life but as he woke up
the first thought on his mind was the man stalking the singer. How was he
going to be able to protect Blair when he was losing his objectivity? He
had to keep his distance to be able to keep his cool, it was the only way.
Even if he hurt Blair and himself, even if he might lose the only good
thing in his life in a long time.
A few days went by and the group left for New York where Blair was
giving two charity shows. They were staying in one of the most famous
hotels of the city, taking a floor all to themselves. To say the
relationship between Jim and Blair was strained was diminishing the
situation. Blair went to extra lengths to annoy the bodyguard, and the
older man retaliated by being as close to him as possible, always
breathing down his neck.
The two shows were a fabulous hit, as was to be expected, and
afterwards everyone was invited to a party at the hotel, courtesy of the
Mayor. There were tons of guests, loud music, alcohol, and Jim was
starting to get pissed beyond belief with Blair's attitude. The younger
man was flirting with everything that moved just to spite him. And damn,
it was working!
He saw Simon reach Blair, tell him something and saw the younger man
nod and go to his room.
"What's up?" he asked Simon.
"Phone call from the record company. He'll be right back."
But twenty minutes later Blair was still in his room, and Jim decided
to check on him. He walked in and found the singer looking out the window,
hugging himself, shaking.
"Blair, what's wrong?"
The young man turned around. "He called. The killer. Told me... told me
what he's going to do when he gets his hands on me. I... He's coming
here..." he took a deep breath centering himself. "God, I hate being
"Blair, I can protect you, but you have to do what I want for a
The door opened and Ryf came in looking frantic. "We found another
bomb. It was in the limo we've been using."
"He's okay. It didn't go off. He heard a strange noise in the motor and
went to check it, that's when he found the damn thing."
Blair looked at Jim. "What do I have to do?" he asked in a subdued
"We 're going back to your house, no more parties or fooling around. No
more interviews or TV appearances. No more concerts for awhile either,
understand? If you need to go anywhere, you let me know, and Taggart and I
will go with you and stay with you at all times. And Blair, if you cross
me one more time..."
"I won't, promise. I'll do everything you want."
"Fine. Break up the party now, pack your bags, and tell the others to
do the same, we'll be leaving tonight."
The weeks went by and everything became as normal as possible. The
letters stopped abruptly, and there were no more bombs, phone calls, break
ins or anything else that said the guy was still after Blair, but the
night of the MTV awards was close, only a week away, and Jim was nervous.
He was sure the guy was going to try something there, and nothing he said,
or any of the others for that matter, changed Blair's mind about going.
"Look, you don't understand! I've been doing everything you want, I've
been behaving, but I HAVE to do this! Jim, I told you when I got the call,
this is my life's dream, man!"
Ryf looked at him. "Blair, we just want what's best for you. What good
will those awards do if you're dead?"
"Nothing will happen. You will all be there, and I'll have Jim and
Taggart to protect me."
"You're putting a hell of a lot of faith in us," said Taggart.
Blair smiled cheekily. "Hey, I'm still alive, aren't I?"
Everyone turned to Jim.
"What?" Simon shouted. "You're going to let him do this
"Yeah. But Taggart and I will be breathing all over him, and I'm
counting on you to help."
Megan smiled. "Gentlemen, L. A. awaits us! MTV here we come!"
They left for L. A. the next morning, and as usual stayed at the
fanciest hotel in town. If there was one thing Blair was fussy about, it
was his sleeping accommodations, not that anyone was complaining either!
The rest of the day was spent sightseeing and generally having fun,
relaxing as much as possible. The next few days until the award show would
be spent going to interviews, parties, press conferences and rehearsals,
and there would be no downtime.
After an amazingly good and long dinner they decided to turn in for the
night, and in what had become a tradition, Jim took Blair to his room. He
closed the door and heard the young man take a deep breath. "You
"Yeah. I won't deny I'm scared, but I won't let that bastard win. I'm
going to go to those awards and have the greatest night of my life!"
Jim smirked. "You that sure you'll win?"
"No, but it doesn't matter, it's not about that. It's about meeting
some of your idols, fans, singing for a crowd, being out there. And I'm
going to do it all and not worry because I know you'll be there to protect
me." They looked in each other's eyes. "Right?"
The two man were so close, Jim could feel Blair's breath on his face.
He found himself caressing the younger man's cheeks with his thumbs, then
his fingers travelled to the singer's luxurious mane, grabbing handfuls of
the silky tresses, massaging the scalp.
"Yeah," he breathed. "Yeah."
Their lips met halfway and kissed gently, no hurry. When they parted,
Blair looked up at him. "Stay with me tonight. Love me."
And Jim understood he couldn't fight anymore, his heart was no longer
his. All that was left to do was go with it, love this man in his arms and
do his best to protect him, even die for him if necessary.
It was the day before the awards. The interviews were over, as was the
press conference and all the other publicity stuff Blair had to do. Having
heard the singer was writing for a new album, the people at MTV had asked
him if he could perform a brand new song as an exclusive for them, and he
immediately said yes, so rehearsals were taking a bit longer than
expected. The song was brand new, just a few days old, only the musicians
were in on it, so the suspense was building up for the awards with the
press feeding it with the usual gossip.
Jim had finally relented and had moved to Blair's room, making the
relationship official. The others knew and were supportive, never having
seen Blair so happy before. Ryf had been a bit grumpy at first, but
understood that Blair saw him more as a friend, a brother, and there was
no use in wasting time dreaming. Besides, there was this young brunette in
the MTV staff that was driving him crazy, and they already had a date
lined up for after the awards, so life was looking better.
It was the final rehearsal and Blair was on stage with his musicians.
They were discussing a few final touches for the song, while Taggart was
in the audience pit, and Jim near the chairs, keeping an eye open. The
place was nearly empty, just some people from MTV and technicians
finishing the lights and sound effects.
There was a commotion at the entrance of the theatre and suddenly a
bunch of fans came screaming through the door towards the stage. Jim and
Taggart acted immediately, stopping in front of them, but the fans were a
few dozen, and they needed the extra help from MTV's security. While they
escorted the people out, a man from the local security got up to
"Mr. Sandburg, I need you to come with me. We have information that a
few more fans are still in the building, and it would be safer if you
waited in your dressing room for the situation to be solved."
Blair saw the MTV security uniform and didn't even take a good look at
the man, after all he was supposed to be there. "Sure, let's go." The man
grabbed him lightly by the arm and led him backstage. Halfway across the
corridor, Blair finally noticed where they were going. "Hey! This is not
the way to my dressing room! What --"
He didn't have time to say anything else as he was pushed inside an
empty room. The man locked the room and looked at him.
"It's just you and me now. Finally."
Blair took a step back. "You're him, the guy stalking me."
"Yep, that would be me," said the man with a leer.
"How did you get in here?"
"Grabbed one of the MTV security guys outside and stole his uniform.
Killed him, unfortunately," he smirked. "You know nobody even gave me a
second look? Everyone saw the uniform and just let me walk in. It was so
easy to open the front door and let those fans of yours get inside. All I
had to do was take advantage of the confusion, which I did. And now I have
you right where I want you."
"But why all this? I don't even know you!"
"That's right, but I know you and hate you. You destroyed the life of
someone I loved, and now I'm getting my revenge."
"I what? What are you talking about?"
"Does the name Vince mean anything to you?"
"Vince? Yeah. We lived together some years ago. What does he have to do
"He was my big brother. And I had to watch him wither and die after you
dumped him. He started drinking and gambling and got in so much trouble,
he decided to rob a bank and got caught. He was killed in prison, and it's
all your fault!"
"It is not my fault! Vince was already in trouble when we broke up! He
made his mistakes alone, I had nothing to do with that. He was always weak
and a coward and I won't pay for his screw ups. That's right, I dumped
him, but he deserved it. I'm sorry he died, but he was a loser!"
The slap he got for his anger threw him against the wall, but he
managed to stay up.
"You little slut! Lies, those are all lies! Vince wasn't like
"No? How would you know? This was over ten years ago, what were you,
ten, twelve? How can you remember exactly how he was like? As I recall, he
left home at eighteen and never so much as called his family again. You
really knew your brother that well? Do you know why he left your house in
the first place? I'll tell you, because your father found out he was
stealing cars and selling drugs and was going to turn him over to the
cops. He told me that himself before we broke up!"
"Shut up! Just shut up! You were responsible for his death and now
you're going to pay!" the man shouted, a mad glow in his eyes.
He raised his gun and aimed it at Blair, preparing to shoot. Suddenly
on the other side of the room, Taggart threw himself against the door
knocking it down and both him and Jim walked in. The bodyguard pointed his
gun at the man.
"Don't make me shoot!"
The stalker seemed to hesitate, but then shook his head. "No, you won't
stop me, you won't stop me!"
Everything happened in mere seconds. The guy turned his gun on Blair
again, but Jim was faster and shot him in the shoulder, making him drop
his gun. "You're lucky I didn't just kill you, you bastard!"
Taggart took the man with him and went to call the police, leaving the
two men alone in the room.
"It's over," said Jim.
Blair nodded. "It's over." He let his lover hug him, sighing and
feeling free at last. "It's over." He looked up. "How did you find us so
"One of your musicians went to call us. Said you went with a security
man to your dressing room, but that he thought the man was acting strange.
We started to look for you and I heard your voice, so..." He didn't
mention he was on the far end of the theatre when he heard his lover's
voice. There was enough time to tell him about his senses, a lifetime, he
thought with a smile.
"...so you came rushing in like a knight in shining armour," Blair
finished smiling. "Man, I didn't even see it coming! I saw the uniform and
never gave it a second thought."
"It's okay, you had a lot on your mind. Come on, let's talk to the
police and then finish the rehearsal. I want you to knock them dead
tomorrow. No pun entended!" Jim said, smiling at his own joke.
"Keep your day job, man, keep your day job!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, here is tonight's winner for the best single,
best video, best male and best album awards, Blair Sandburg!"
Blair smiled at the cheering crowd. "Thank you. I want to dedicate this
song to all of you, for the support and love you gave me, and also to the
other half of my soul, my love, because this song is for us, about us and
how I feel and will always feel. I hope you all enjoy it, it's called 'My
love is your love'".
If tomorrow is judgement day
If I wake up in World War Three
Cause your love is my love
If I lose my fame and fortune
As the years they pass us by
Cause your love is my love
If I should die this very day
Cause your love is my love